spaz!

I am a spaz.

Tonight I'm having a spaz-like night. Like a true spaz-geek I will give you the breakdown of the term.

Free dictionary says...
spas·tic

adj.

1. Of, relating to, or characterized by spasms: a spastic colon; a spastic form of cerebral palsy.

2. Affected by spastic paralysis.

3. Offensive Slang Clumsy or inept.

I don't really like that one.
Here is what Urban Dictionary says...

2. spaz

Someone who is hyperactive, or overly energetic "She can never sit still, she is a bit of a spaz"

3. spaz

An irrationally nervous or jumpy person.

"Dude, that Tweek from South Park is such a spaz."

Yeah, I'm totally a spaz combo there.

Thing is, my spaz-like nature comes from so many sources. I am complicated. Neurotic and emotional. I jump to weird conclusions. Someone makes a strange face at me and in my mind I'm assuming that I did something horrible to cause such a reaction, meanwhile they probably just ate lunch at Taco Bell and are now regretting it.

Another source of my spazziness is the fact that I'm ADHD. I used to be more hyperactive, especially when I was going through puberty (goddamn hormones). I still have trouble sitting still. I have to maintain a very organized space before I can accomplish something. My work space is immaculate actually, but that's because I obsessively organize now to stay sane. See? Spaz.

More proof of my spaz-dom... oh, relationships. This is a biggie. My boyfriend and I were talking tonight and I was (still am a little) all pouty because he didn't invite me to hang out tonight. He just didn't think of it. Am I blaming him? No. Mostly, what I'm feeling is sadness that my awesome vacation is over and I'm missing all my cool friends. But his not inviting me over made me think "Oh gawd, does he love me still? What's going on? Why doesn't he think of me every second of every day?!?!!" Yeah, I'm experienced enough with this kind of spaz now to NOT take it out on my completely and totally awesome boyfriend. So instead, I blog.

More spaz evidence? I'm also a over-planner, over-thinker, over-communicator. But I'm cute, so you'll forgive me.

I think I am embracing my inner-spaz. I recognize her when she comes out now for what she is. She is my gauge. She helps me figure out when something is off. When my feelings are a priority. When I can no longer just pretend I'm ok. She is sometimes (most of the time) completely irrational. But thats okay too. Being irrational is part of the human experience.

I'm going to go organize my linen closet now before I sleep.

Steel City Skeptics Rock!

The first Drinking Skeptically in Pittsburgh meeting went so incredibly well. I was shocked at the number of people that showed up with such little effort. First we had some folks that found out about the event through the Center for Inquiry Pittsburgh forums and calendar. I got to meet Bill, the current President of CFI Pittsburgh. Then I was so glad I found the Pittsburgh Secular Freethinkers organization on meetup. Andrew and his group are already meeting regularly to discuss all things skeptical. Even one person came because they saw Rebecca's announcement on Skepchick! Thanks Rebecca!

There is definitely a community of Skeptics in Pittsburgh and my new friend Liz and I have some ideas. I am also so proud of the fact that facilitated Andrew and Bill's meeting. I plan to attend the upcoming event for the CFI Pittsburgh to discuss ways I can promote events to a younger crowd.

I'll post some pictures soon - I running out the door to see my friend Jennifer's new place!

It's all happening

There is so much positivity out there right now in my little artist world.

A good friend of mine, Jason, also known as the Ted Nugent of Poetry (yes, I gave him that title) has been honored by the Jeff Buckley fan club. Jeff's mother saw this video performance (vid below) that Jason created on youtube and asked if he could be featured on their monthly newsletter. Jason got to write up his bio and include links to upcoming Typewriter Girls shows and Kerouac Fest.

On a personal note, Margaret and I were invited to be on a panel at the Ligonier Valley Writers Conference. I am hoping we can work out a way to attend - I don't see why not. Plus all the connections I made at TAM with other artists and activists has got me so excited about this very special time.

Check out Jason Kirin's video performance below.



You can see Jason and others perform on July 6th at Modern Formations Gallery when The Typewriter Girls Present: God vs. Poet - A Sexy Showdown of Biblical Proportions.

independent publishing

I am so excited to let everyone know when my friends getting published! My good friend Davka is going to have an article entitled "Blood Money: Equal Access to Poverty" published in the Hip Mama magazine. She also has a beautiful personal essay being published in Make/Shift Magazine's 4th issue. I highly recommended not only reading her essays, but also supporting independent publishers with a subscription.

I think it's so important that we lift one another up and support our efforts as writers and bloggers. If you are out there getting published, let me know I'll do my best to post about it here.

no other word but

Amazing.

I am still in Las Vegas, but The Amazing Meeting 6 has come to its official end. But like Phil Plait says, and I paraphrase, I will be energized for weeks - months later even. I feel a renewed sense of purpose in terms of my place within this skeptical community. I have met so ordinary people doing such extraordinary things to further the promotion of critical thinking and science literacy. I am really looking forward to exploring the intersection between the scientific process and how it informs artistic expression. I'm also looking forward to examining a variety of labels in this process: skeptic, artist, scientist, activist and atheist.

I'd also like to put out a special welcome and a big THANK YOU to those of you I met at TAM this week/end. The speakers and events were fantastic, but ultimately the most amazing part of TAM is the connections I made with other skeptically-minded folk. While my blog is not a science or skeptical blog, I am obviously employing critical thinking on my quest for personal growth and understanding. My deepest hope is that my own personal experiences will encourage you to employ the same depth of reflection on your own personal labels.

And as an even further aside, I'd just like to say thank you to one particular woman I met that touched my heart in a very deep way this week. Meeting you has inspired within me the feelings of awe and humility at how there is so much humans have to learn. You know who you are, Little Miss, and I look forward to knowing you.

More to come - thanks for being here.

mother daughter camping trip

I went camping with my mom this weekend and we had such a nice time despite the rather scary thunderstorm on Friday night. Good thing we were so badass and got the tarp and tent up quickly. I (of course) forgot to take my camera but I did manage to take a photo of the site with my phone.

My mom's arm is healing so nicely and I believe she has gained back some confidence that she may have lost this winter. At one point we were setting up the tent and she just picked up the hammer and pounded a stake into the ground. I said "Hey Mom! Look! You're hammering!" and she said "Wow I am! I didn't even think about it!" It was a really nice moment.

Today I'm just biding my time at work because I'm waaaaay too excited for The Amazing Meeting 6 in Las Vegas. I want to do a little dance around my desk! *dances* I don't leave until Wednesday - argh! I've not been on a super big vacation before and it's even more awesome that I can go with my boyfriend (yeah, I've got a boyfriend). It's nice to experience something new with someone you care about. And have hotel sex. Hot. Plus, I'm pretty sure I'll get to meet Penn Jillette of Penn & Teller fame. We are definitely going to see them perform Saturday night, but they will also be attending TAM 6 so perhaps I'll just casually run into him while wearing a lowcut shirt and carrying a big sharpie marker.

I will do a more formal post on being a camper at a later date when I'm not so excited about meeting Elvis. I will leave you with this photo that was at a little mom & pop store down the road from our campground this weekend. Those of you from Pittsburgh will understand why this is funny.

busy, sleepy, but good

I have a lot of fun things happening in my life right now. Weave Magazine is really taking off nicely. We had to move up the submission deadline for the first issue to June 30 because we got so many amazing contributions. I had a really great trip with some amazing writers this weekend, including my friend Michelle who is having a book of poetry Flats and Riots released this month. I'm a little bummed that I won't be at her release party. Check out the Pittsburgh Poetry Calendar entry for June 22nd for all the details. The reason I won't be at her party is because I'll be attending The Amazing Meeting 6 in Las Vegas and I'm just so freakin' excited. There are so many awesome speakers, I get to see Penn & Teller's show, get a photo with Elvis and perhaps find someone to drunkenly marry now that my divorce is over. Last night I got my hair cut and highlighted at like 10pm since I have a good friend that does it for me. He made a frittata and told us funny stories while we watched The Tudors. Even my haircuts are fun these days! First and foremost though, I'm going camping with my mom this weekend and I'm so looking forward to just relaxing, even though it's supposed to thunderstorm. We've camped in big storms before - we're former Girl Scouts. Don't mess with us. We're awesome.

I will now leave you with a Janet Jackson video that's so hot it will melt your face.

Skepchick

I consider myself multifaceted. I am a person that has a plethora of interests. I am a rather creative and emotional person, but that does not preclude my interest in science or rational thinking. I find the universe fascinating and learning how to world works only informs my creative endeavors even more.

In an effort to combine both my creative side and my geeky science-girl side, I sought to come to the aid of Skepchick.org, an organization that promotes women's involvement in scientific skeptical thinking. As a fundraiser, Skepchick creates a calendar each year - specifically a pin-up calendar - of sexy smart women in some kind of geekily compromising pose. The calendars raise money to send a woman to The Amazing Meeting (a science and skeptical conference) who couldn't otherwise afford to go. Since the organization's founder, Rebecca Watson, has gotten so much attention lately with her many projects, the 2008 calendar did not get completed in time. So this year they decided to create an 18 month version and Rebecca handed over the project to a fellow skepchick, A (yes that's her full name). I met A whilst in Ft. Lauderdale this January attending TAM 5.5 and I quickly pitched her my photo idea: me with words on my body. It would work perfectly since I'm a writer and could be really sexy. Without giving too much away, there is one word on my body and... that's all I'm wearing (well, my glasses too). To be clear, this is a pin-up calendar and while my grandma might blush seeing the photo, it's not anything graphic. Just sexy. And geeky.

There is a Skepdude version of the calendar as well, however I am not in that version. So if you want to purchase a copy of the calendar, GO HERE. I will be in Las Vegas next week for TAM 6 and I'm so excited to help man the table and sell some of these babies - plus A says people actually like the models to sign their copies. I'll be famous!

Here is a video that was created to promote the 2007 Skepchick Calendar.



Buy your copy today! Support a great cause!

I'm sensitive and I'd like to stay that way

I had a lot of nicknames growing up, some of them too embarrassing to share publicly, but a number of them had to do with me being rather dramatic. I was easily upset as a child by any kind of criticism, as well as loud noises such as balloons popping or parades (tuba's terrified me). I still to this day cannot watch certain kinds of violence in television or movies; sometimes even cartoon violence is too much. Since I come from a family of teasers, I was often called Mona Groana or Theda Bera, both names pointing out my penchant for the dramatic. I cried an awful lot and felt so overwhelmed by my emotions it was sometimes difficult to just carry on a conversation.

This sensitivity lasted well into my teen years and young adulthood. I noticed it particularly when I began dating. I still to this day fall in love rather easily. I know a lot of guys I dated found it difficult to deal with me, because I would upset easily, take things personally and often over-react. I took things people said about me to heart very easily and I knew I needed a better way manage my overwhelmingly sensitive nature.

A few years ago I came across a website devoted to people who called themselves "highly sensitive" - I began to read about the traits and qualities that were attributed to being a highly sensitive person (HSP). Often HSPs were sensitive to loud noises, easily startled, can sense other peoples emotions and are often moody. Additionally, HSPs are also usually very creative, empathetic, and can be very good with group dynamics. Being highly sensitive is also commonly confused with being shy or introverted. While those traits are often found in HSPs, they aren't always, such as in my case. I am highly sensitive, but definitely extroverted overall. I can be shy in new situations, but I definitely gain energy from large groups of close friends, versus introverts who are drained by those kinds of social situations.

I remember feeling like I finally had an explanation for my being able to cry at seemingly silly television commercials! It was such a relief and this understanding helped me explain myself easily to new people. It also helped me learn to give myself a wide birth when dealing with certain situations, to not be so hard on myself (perhaps I'll one day examine my "perfectionist" label) and that I could choose look at my sensitivity as a positive trait overall, rather than something that held me back. Rather than trying to "toughen up" I could simply know my limits, learn strategies to manage my emotions in certain situations where it wasn't appropriate to be emotional (like work for example) and overall just embrace my natural tendency to be sensitive.

While I'm not so sure about the scientific nature of my self-diagnosis, finding this information certainly gave me pause to look at myself from a different angle. I would say I'm still just as sensitive as I always was, but I'm just better at managing it now. I don't feel burdened by it anymore, but rather, I feel special and in some ways, lucky even, to be able to experience the world this way. I believe it helps me with my writing, particularly my poetry.

There is a song on Jewel's first album called "I'm Sensitive" and I've always liked the lyrics; I think she sums up my feelings rather straightforwardly in her chorus:

"So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive and I'd like to stay that way."

In fact, you can listen to the song right here. I'll leave you with that. Enjoy.

Yet another shout out

Dear Daisybones,

Thank you so much for my makeover today. I was so excited when you offered to come in and give me a good scrub and a shine. I had no idea how good I could look. From top to bottom, I truly shine and I couldn't believe it was me!

I think we have a real connection and I hope to continue this lovely relationship for a long time.

See you on the intarwebs!

<3 Laura Without Labels

Thanks Mosaic

So I wanted to make this banner a while back and I'm really glad I finally have one. I'll probably make a few versions but I wanted to leave a shout out to my girl Daisy over at daisybones for hooking me up with the sweet title photo right the center. I'm not so good at making images and such, but her mad digital art skillz whipped that baby up in less than 5 minutes.

You should also check out her art here. And then buy some of it here.

I Has a Mosaic

The concept:
1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. Using only the first page of results, and pick one image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Big Huge Lab's Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of the picture answers.

The questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food? right now?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. What is your favourite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favourite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. What is one word that describes you?
12. What is your flickr name?

(via Ice Cream Is Nice Cream)

Seriously Silly Post

In an effort to update more and have this blog feel more conversational, I'm going to post more informally at least once a week. I will keep up with the introspective essays and shit, but you know? Sometimes I'm not that serious.

I've been brainstorming labels to examine. I just came up with one right now: silly. Yeah, I'm definitely silly. Here are a few of the less serious labels I plan to examine.

• Geek
• Crafty!
• Hyper
• Drama Queen
• Sex-positive

A few other labels I take more seriously....

• Feminist
• Skeptic
• Christian
• Sensitive
• Poet

That last one might make me seem pretentious, but I don't always take my poetry that seriously. I could do a post about "pretentious" as well. Although I think the examination would go something like this: I'm the least pretentious person you will ever meet. The end. My family had a lot to do with that - we don't let people take themselves too seriously. We also use teasing as a form of affection so if someone IS taking themselves really seriously, we usually knock them down a few pegs with some harmless name-calling or food-throwing. Okay not so much the latter. Unless my grandma's there. She loves throwing food. Especially green beans. She hates eating green beans. Wow perhaps this will be my examination of the word SILLY.

Okay back to business. So those are a few of the highlights you can expect from me here in the coming weeks. I have a busy June planned - I'll be traveling the next three weekends in a row, including an extended weekend trip to Las Vegas mid-June. I can't wait. I guess I'll have to though. UGH! But I will be making this a priority here. Cuz you know I love my readers. Yes, I'm talking to you... *wink*

That's enough of my silliness for now. Except for this photo of me stapling my lips shut.