So I am participating in a fun blog theme called Be 100% Honest Day. Started by the lovely Dana at My Gorgeous Somewhere (she and I will soon be married on Facebook), here is her synopsis:
"Tomorrow, a one-day event: Dana’s Be 100% Honest Day. Swing by. Ask questions. You are sure to get interesting answers. And don’t you think I am only doing this on the ’nets and such. I am so fuckin’ ballsy ridiculously stoopid self-assured that I will be doing this from waking until I turn in for the night, everywhere and with everyone."
*Note: I will post my answer in the comment section below*
14 comments:
Considering your complex (and fascinating) past history of self-identification, and your somewhat recent self-identification as a skeptic (ok, not so recent, but stay with me,) how do you know you've found your authentic self now? (Or do you?)
a.real.girl
Man! Kicking things off with an intense one... lemme see...
I think I am authentic as I can be in this moment. Tomorrow, I strive to know myself more. So it's a day by day process. I feel that I've found the best way to do that is by being totally honest with myself and really examining my motivations, desires, needs - even the embarrassing ones! Especially the ones that make me vulnerable.
So what I find now that makes me feel confident in my authenticity is that I'm not afraid to look at the scary stuff, the controversial stuff, the silly stuff. If I were just talking about my positive traits (both past and present) all the time, that isn't an honest representation.
I guess with this totally rambling response is, I've come to terms with my flaws and I accept them, because as human beings, we are all flawed. And I'm constantly willing to find new flaws.
And personally, I think the flaws are the good stuff of being human.
Can you recount your first sexual experiences- in as much detail as you'd like- with a male and with a female?
How did they differ? How similar? (With regard to your responses, reactions, emotions.)
Can you comment on the notion of virginity and its applicability in a bisexual context? Did you consider either first time to be significant in some initiatory or other significant way?
Ok well, in the interest of honesty I will talk about my first sexual experiences with each gender thusly: These experiences are the first times I got nekkid with a person in the context of being sexual (versus naked in the locker room, or the like).
First time I got nekkid with a boy I was 19 and in a car in an elementary school parking lot with two friends of mine, one male, one female. The three of us basically started daring one another in a cute little game of "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" - but my girl-friend (platonic) quickly saw that he and I were having sparks. She suggested we take her home and then come back and have fun without her. So we did. And it was fun.
With a girl, the first time I got nekkid was... ok, just realized I SO can't put that on the intarwebs. So I have to use one "no comment". Not because it's girl-sex, but because of the location of said sex.
It is interesting how virginity plays into sexual experience and differs with the genders. Most people consider PIV (penis-in-vagina) sex to be how you lose your virginity. Does that mean if a woman only sleeps with women her whole life she remains a virgin?
If I had to nail it down I'd say the first time you attempt to have an orgasm with someone else, then that's sex. I don't get all these kids running around saying oral sex and even anal sex aren't actual SEX.
What IS virginity anyway? What is it's purpose? Are we really going to say that a sexual experience is defined by a certain organ entering another organ for the first time? Most western girls don't even have a hymen by the time they first have PIV sex, because it was broken through being active and young. I think first sexual experiences are so much more complex. I think it should be defined on the emotions and desires of the people involved. I'm not necessarily talking about love here either, but hopefully about two (or more) people who have mutual respect and attraction and perhaps emotional attachment to one another, and want to express that in a particular way. Maybe they wanna throw bananas at each others naked bodies. Maybe they wanna stay clothed and dry hump (and chafe). Maybe they wanna just kiss each others bodies for hours. Whatever form their sexual expression takes, it is sexual because they deem it to be so.
I totally formed these statements off the cuff. I might contradict myself. Ah well.
Good response... Virginity's an ass-stupid concept, really, but I just wondered what another bisexual friend thought:)
Lol, we of "other" sexualities seem to be getting sexually based questions today.
However, I wanted to ask you, after reading these and not having read you before:
who do you think you are right now? Do you think that others know who you are? and how do you feel about the "myth" that bi-sexual women can never be monogomas (I know, spelling) Or do you even think it is a myth?
hello slynne!
"who do you think you are right now?"
Right now? NOW?!?? I am Laura and I'm jonesing to leave work for the weekend. Ask me again in 30 minutes. I'm constantly changing.
"Do you think that others know who you are?"
I think I put a lot out there about myself; I'm not private. People can ask me things and I'll do my best to answer them honestly. I think some people know me better than others, simply because of the nature of my relationship with said persons and the amount of time spent together. I think there are perhaps only a handful of people who can say they really KNOW me. Perhaps only I KNOW me the best.
"how do you feel about the "myth" that bi-sexual women can never be monogamous? Or do you even think it is a myth?"
There, I spelled it for ya.
I didn't realize such a myth existed! I'm out of the loop. Perhaps its because people like me perpetuate the myth? I choose to be non-monogamous. I think that bi-folks can be just as monogamous or non-monogamous as straight or gay folks. I do think that bisexuals offer a great example about how no one person is capable of fulfilling all of your needs and desires. This is true of all people, regardless of sexual orientation. After that, it's a matter of setting boundaries and honoring your desires. If you desire sexual-emotional fidelity, great. Do that. If you desire sexual-emotional variety, great. Do that. And be sure to email me ;)
"who do you think you are right now?"
I am still Laura. I still wanna leave work (18 minutes!) and now I have to pee really bad. Off I go!
Ack. Did that come across as a straight girl asking exotic bi girl questions? I wondered if our experiences were parallel at all.
Anyway! I can has moar truthz?
What gets you off? Interpret this where ever you like on the scale from intellectually turned on to sexy goodness.
"What gets you off?"
- A really fucking awesome conversation
- Backrubs. Just even touching my back. My back skin is really sensitive.
- Being outside naked
- When I can effectively communicate my meaning when speaking (as opposed to writing it down)
- Movies starring Maggie Gyllenhal and James Spader ("Oh Mr. Gray!")
- Showing off my body
- Meeting someone new
- My Laya Spot Vibrator from Fun Factory (yay for safe toys!)
- Learning something new
- Removable shower heads
- A good run or a good book
I had a whole question thing lined up but became so engrossed in the comments that I forgot it. Shucks. It was a good one.
I guess I'll instead have to ask: What grosses you out? (And you can’t say snot. That’s too obvy.)
"What grosses you out?"
This was hard because I don't like to think about the things that gross me out. So I had to think hard here.
- Phlegm. *gags*
- Watching any violence in movies or television
- People eating bugs
- Male strippers (ewwwww...)
- Dirty teeth (like, I can SEE the scum building up kinda dirty)
- Decomposing dead animals
- maggots
- Dog saliva, like when it gets all foamy. Barf.
- oh yeah, vomit.
I *LOVE* Maggie Gyllenhal...
I am totally with you on most of these, especially on the dirty teeth thing.
But I have to admit to sort of liking decomposing dead animals. Puts life into perspective. Some Buddhists (real ones, not fake trendy ones) meditate on the image of decomposing bodies, and even go meditate in front of decomposing bodies, to remind themselves that life is fleeting, that we all end up as nothing more than bones eventually.
Slynne, I *LOVE* Maggie Gyllenhal, too. And Jake. But not together because that would be weird.
Post a Comment