Fashionable?

I've never been the kind of person who was really into current fashion and clothes. I have had different styles growing up. Some (but not all) include hipster, hippie, prep, grunge, pop-punk and hip-hop sexy.

I can remember my first real experience with feeling unfashionable. It was in 7th grade when I had almost reached my full height; at 13 I was 5'8" and I had a hell of a time finding pants that were long enough. Mens jeans fit me best because you could buy them by length; 34" inseam worked perfectly. This was before the days when pants came in petite, regular and long. That year, all the pretty, popular girls were wearing these cable-knit V-neck sweaters from The Gap with a turtleneck underneath. Some would wear a necklace they got from mom and dad or from (gasp!) a boyfriend and it would dangle from outside the turtleneck, shining with the silent words "I'm special" - and therefore me, standing in my over-sized, large purple sweater with flowers and my matching purple jeans (yes, I had an outfit that was entirely purple) got the message that I was "not special." I think back now and I'm not sure why I didn't just ask my mom to buy me that sweater, maybe because I knew my mom wouldn't understand why I wanted a $50 sweater and it was probably because I secretly didn't want it. I wanted to blend in but not have to be like everyone else at the same time.

That first experience with fashion left me bitter; I was often teased by the kids at school because I was an easy target - long and froggy, but without curves. I was also taller than everyone reaching my full height of 5'10" by age 14. I responded to this by starting down my anti-fashion phase.

That next year I decided to try to express myself through clothing. I also began listening to The Grateful Dead, although I never smoked pot in high school. I wore jeans that were too big on me, long hair that my mom never let me cut and tye-dye t-shirts. I had patches on my backpack and wore little to no make-up. I will go in and out of phases, coming back to this relaxed style of loose fitting clothes again well into adulthood.

I'd say in high school my style was heavily influenced by my need to differentiate myself again. I discovered thrift stores and my best friend Heather and I would frequent them often. I also went my cousin Sue a lot and she taught me how to get the most of out thrifting for clothes. I had an eclectic style during this time - combat boots, mens dress slacks, little boys polo shirts, geek glasses. Looking back, I was actually ahead of my time and dressing the way a lot of the emo kids dress now. I dressed like a boy in a way, because I never felt particularly feminine, at least not traditionally so.

In college I hit a short phase when I bleached my hair almost white and had this super cute short hair do. I also became more aware of my body as I got more curves late in high school and wasn't sure how to dress them. I got more attention from boys as a blond and so I started wearing tight jeans and shirts, getting my nails manicured, and wearing more make-up.

It wasn't until recently that I realized how style and fashion were great, but I really wanted function. As an adult entering the work force I wanted clothing that could easily be mixed and matched with many things, as well as better quality clothing so it would last longer. I enjoy wearing simple, classic styles that some would consider a little more preppy. I have a nice mixture of all my previous styles depending on the occasion. I can get "all hookered up" as my friend Rena would say, if I were going out to a club. I have that little black dress for weddings and special outings. I feel most comfortable though, in just a pair of low-rise jeans, flip flops and a simple top.

I think over the years my fashion has changed a long with me. I've not really tried to force myself into a certain area and just worn what was both comfortable and reflective of my mood whether it be sexy, playful, tired or creative. I enjoy the simplicity of my wardrobe and how it accentuates who I am at that moment, constantly evolving with me.